This Cowboy's Naked Truth

Going to have an endoscopic routine done tomorrow to determine if stomach cancer is back or not.  It's really an uncomfortable procedure in that they give you a little sedative and tell you to swallow a television cable.  Just counting the days to May 14, trying to live large and bold until then.  Went shooting with the boys yesterday and had a great time.  Fired a few too many rounds from my 30/30 because my titanium shoulder is black and blue from the recoil.  It helps to have a little muscle in front of the bone, or steel in my case.  Nonetheless, it was a great time and I'd do it again tomorrow.
According to some, I am just not compassionate enough for most of the human race.  I am to rough around the edges.  Maybe it has something to do with the way you grew up, although I don't blame my wrong doings in life on my childhood, never have, never will.  My father was a very heavy handed man who many time would beat his children because of the conflicts he had with my mother.  Throw some booze into the mix and you just never knew how you were going to go to bed.  Granted, back in my day the belt was the source of punishment but even then it can get out of hand, and it did.  When I saw my father beat my mother to a pulp I found it so repulsive that I have never hit a woman in my life and I never will.  Any man that hits a woman is not a man.  He's a coward!  When I finally left home and moved to Grantsville, Utah where my cousins and Uncle Pudge took over, things began to change for the better in my life, at least for a little while.  I grew up with tough men, hard workers, drinkers, smokers, fighters and just plain tough men.  It became my way of life and it chiseled me into the person I am today.  Don't get me wrong, I am no longer a physically tough man.  Sure, I might ride bulls and break horses but the days of physically strength are behind me.  I am however mentally tough.  I have sympathy and empathy towards others when I feel it is called for.  When it's not, I don't.  I never had anyone feel sorry for me, pat me on the bottom and say, "It's going to be all right."  I was around people that never showed pain or let you know that something was wrong.  Times have changed and so have people, but some of us are just too set in our ways.
I would never wish anyone to have what I have or any other illness.  I will help anyone I can, just as long as they will try to help themselves.  If you knew the story of me and one of my sons, you would know what I am talking about.  There comes a time when no one can pick you up but yourself.  I am not sure I want to write on this blog page anymore.  I just feel out of place with so many people anymore in that this world has just gone far too soft.  Perhaps I just need to write my book, shut up, and deal with what lays ahead.  My way of inspiring is not for the weak of heart.