This Cowboy's Naked Truth

Howdy.  I have taken some time off of writing due to a few changes in my life, however, I am still alive and kicking.  It's always a good day when you're standing on the grass.
This past Saturday night was bull riding practice, getting ready for today's rodeo in Norco.  Took my girl to the practice session and gave her a taste of my world.  She is a horse trainer, a damn good one I might add, but has never been up close and personal with bulls.  We had a decent turn out and when it was over and we got into the truck I asked her what she thought.  Her remarks were something like, "Why do you guys do that to yourselves."  It's hard to explain to people that have never rode bulls or even been to a rodeo, but it's the danger, the adrenaline rush, courage, toughness, and the dream of being a world class cowboy are just a few of the reasons why.  As I lay here and type this blog I will be honest, I hurt.  My body is in constant pain from what I have done to it, but if I had to do it all over again, would I?  No I wouldn't, instead, I would have driven myself harder, pushed the envelope just a bit more.  Every pain in my bones has a story and I am proud of the way I feel because I did it my way.  Yes, I have been told by many people along the way to stop for one reason or another, and I am sure their reasons were solid but when you tell a cowboy that he can't do something you might as well tell him to go do it anyway because that is just what he is going to do.  I am going to kick this cancer right between the legs, drop it to it's knees, and walk away.  When I get healed up I am going to work harder than ever to put myself back in shape so I can go back to doing what I love to do, ride bulls.  None of my children have ever seen me ride.  They were born after I retired professionally or where quite young when I did.  This is who I am.  This is what I love and I am hoping that they will come out and watch their old man one time.
So the plan is this.  I am expecting a call from UCLA on Monday to give me a date as to when I am to be admitted for the bone marrow transplant.  I will go in, take whatever they give me, beat this, get out and get back home.  Knowing that it will take me a while to regroup and get my strength back up, I'll give it six months.  After that, it's back to the gym to rebuild, get the legs back in shape, strengthen the core, back and arms.  Then I'll be getting on beginner bulls and working my way up to the big boys.  I figure I will be riding at the Norco Horse Week Extreme Bull Riding the year after next.  I should be the oldest bull rider in the nation at the age of 65 and to me that is something to be proud of because most guys my age look like their reading to kick the bucket.
Tonight after the rodeo, Jake, Jorge and I, stopped by Pat's Kitchen in Norco to wash down the dirt and grab a bite.  On the way out the door I heard someone say to me, "Why are you limping?"  I turned around and saw a man sitting by himself.  He was wearing a Norco Rodeo Posse uniform.  They are the people who run the rodeo.  I said, "Because I'm an old bull rider."  Long story short he invited us to sit down at his table.  His name is Dave and he is five years older than me.  A Vietnam vet who enlightened us on some of this journey and suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I told him that I suffer from the same disorder and we shared our stories.  It was a great sit down for Dave is also a cowboy poet and he recited two poems that he wrote.  I have never heard anything more beautiful in my life and asked him to send them to me via email so I can share them with you.  Jake and Jorge were with me as I stated earlier and were all ears.  Dave and I did the talking.  When we walked out to our trucks to go, Dave was paying for the bills because he insisted on paying our tab as well.  While Jake, Jorge and I were outside I told them that this is what life is all about, relationships.  If you don't have good, solid relationships in your life, you ain't got spit.  Maybe you got the houses, cars, boats, jewelry and whatever else, but if you don't have relationships you're dirt poor.  I would rather have the true friends I have than all of that.  Tonight, I started another relationship that I am certain will carry me until one of us dies.
Life is hard right now.  Cancer, financial stress, a truck that gets ten miles a gallon, aching broken bones and being old and ugly, but I am not complaining.  I am a rich man.  I like my life.  I like where I am going, who I am with, and what the future holds.  My life is good today and will be better tomorrow.  I hope your's will be too.  Goodnight.