This Cowboy's Naked Truth

Today is Monday and no news.  It appears I will not be told anything until Wednesday.  Like the anticipation of death is worse than death itself, so is waiting to know if something is wrong with you.  Regardless, I spent the morning working with Cody and after getting my fanny kicked by him today I am sitting down and going to try and finish my movie "The Shootist."  For you that have never seen this John Wayne film, it was his last for two years later he died of cancer.  I am not pessimistic!  I believe people that know me, know that I am anything but;however, the thoughts of not living through cancer are always in the back of your mind.  No matter how tough you are, how resilient, if you have cancer those thoughts just exist.  I think I would call anyone a liar who disagreed, but it is life.  We don't always get good cards when the dealer throws them out, but if your a good poker player, and I am, you learn how to bluff and win.
Not to get to personal, lol, but when I got out of the shower this morning and stood in front of the mirror I took a good look at myself and shook my head.  Only three years ago I was big, strong, tough as nails, and now I am not so big, not so strong, but tougher than nails.  It's difficult to be in one body and then in the matter of a couple of years your in a different body.  It's all vanity and I believe the good Lord has his reasons and I am OK with it all.  There is so much more to a person than looks.  People change over time, hopefully for the best, but they do change.  I used to live hard and fast, wild and reckless.  I just lived for the day.  Now I live hard and slow, not quite so wild and not quite so reckless, although I do love bull riding, breaking horses, and being challenged, but I have slowed down a lot.  When I drive my truck I just poke along and take in everything around me, where as before I would fly by and never see.  I spend more time looking at people, trying to find the downtrodden and getting to know them.  Getting to know their story.  It's amazing what you can learn by just listening to the lives others.  So many times people think they have it bad until they listen to someone else.
I had four goals that I set out with this year.  I may have mention this before and if so, excuse me.  I wanted to take my daughters on a vacation to Disney World, beat cancer, finish my book, and ride bulls at the San Dimas rodeo.  Well, it doesn't appear that I do two of the three, you figure em out, but I will do the other two.  If they tell me my stomach cancer is back then I'll just have to deal with it.  I jokingly say that if that were to be that I would pack a short pack for a long ride.  That won't happen because that would be that I quit and if there are two words I don't like, quit and can't, just crawl under my skin.  A friend posted on my Facebook page something along these lines, "The best way to get a cowboy to do something is to tell him he is to old."  Well, I added on to that and said, "Tell him he can't and he will."  Point is this, whatever you have, whatever your troubles, health, money, skeletons in the closet, addictions, whatever, wrap your arms around it.  Embrace it as a challenge.  Trust in God!  Another post that I read was something like this, "If your going through troubled times and you don't think God is listening, remember, the teacher never talks when you're taking a test."  Tomorrow the sun is going to come up, it'll be a new day, and life will go on.  Make it all you can.  Goodnight.