This Cowboy's Naked Truth

Well, things are starting to slowly come together regarding my admission into UCLA for this bone marrow transplant.  Lately I have been having some health issues that have my doctors alarmed and they want me to get to UCLA for some tests and possibly admission right now.  I know my body better than anyone, including my doctors, and though I am experiencing some shortness of breath, extreme tiredness, chills and same old bone pain, I am not quite ready to go in.  I have some things that are going to get done in the next couple of weeks and when they are attended to, then I will go in.  They are not ready to do the transplant yet for they are working on the donor to make sure that we are 100% compatible.  This takes times, but they are working fast on this because of my worsening condition and I sure am not getting any younger, lol.  I am not being reckless, but I live my life my way, always have.  Maybe that hasn't been the best and many of my choices in life have not been the best for me, but this is my last rodeo and damn it, I am going to ride.
This whole ordeal is a bit overwhelming because I have to rely on others to help me through and as I stated in my last post I have to coordinate people to come stay at the Tiverton Hotel after I am released from the hospital.  UCLA is not close to where I live and people have their own lives and commitments to attend to.  My ex wife and one daughter are going to help and I am going to get a hold of my oldest son who might be able to fly down from Washington and stay with me.  I figure it this way, God has kept me alive when I should have been dead, eight times in my life to be exact, this being number nine, and I know that he will make things happen so I am not overly concerned about it.
This Saturday at 4, myself, my fellow bull riders, and friends are meeting at Roscoe's for an early dinner, talk, relax and then we'll be leaving for Mira Loma for some bull riding at 7.  It is going to be my last chance to do what I love and am so excited for this evening.  Thursday, a new friend of mine, Austin Wallace, who is a professional photographer is going to get some shots of me on horseback, thanks to another friend, Heidi who is letting me use her horse, so that I can have some photos to pass to my children being as I have seemed to have lost all the photos of my youth and rodeo experiences.  Hopefully, I have just misplaced them or they are in storage, but just in case I am having these taken as well as Saturday nights bull riding.
I have lived in Chino Hills since this was a one horse town.  I was heavily involved in the gym business for years after I retired from professional rodeo and have had the privilege to meet so many residents of this wonderful community.  It was rewarding to have worked with so many people and though I have been out of it for some time now it is always nice when someone remembers those days and has something nice to say to me.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life.  There are people that I hurt.  People that did favors that due to circumstances I have not been able to repay, but I have kept a list and I am going back, one by one, to make amends.  People often criticize me for being so open, but I have nothing to hide from.  When your facing a life and death situation, your life changes.  You think about your life, what you've done, where you may be going when this life is over, what are you going to leave behind and how can you get square with the dealer before you leave.  My cards are on the table, my head is up, my attitude is strong and my rope is pulled tight.  I will beat this.  Years ago, the devil had my soul, but I stole it back.  My faith gets tested every day it seems but each day I try to be a better man than the one I was yesterday.  My ex wife Patty was never a real close person outwardly with God but she has been doing an amazing turn around in her life and she is a daily inspiration to me now.  My goal with the rest of my life is to give back everything I can.  So many people are struggling right now, so many people have lost so much, and so many people have it a hell of lot worse than me.  
Thank you all for everything.  I know that a special meet and greet is being set up for the weekend after next and I hope to meet so many of you.  Live your life like today is going to be the last day because you just don't know.  Be nice to people, talk to strangers even it's just a simple hello for you have no idea what that gesture may do for someone.  Let a pretty girl know how beautiful she is.  Say thank you to someone with a veteran sticker on his truck or is wearing a veteran's hat.  Shake their hand and say thank you for their service because without them we wouldn't have the freedoms we seem to take for granted.  Open the door for someone.  Take time to talk and listen to the story of the old man with his bucket in front of the store.  We are all in this together.  Remember, what goes around, comes around.  See y'all tomorrow and have a great day!